My parents tell me how proud they are of me. But, my father also asks me:
Jess, are you still working at the same place?
No, dad. I haven’t for almost one year, I told you. I am pursuing my studies.
Oh… Ok a papa’…ok. But, when do you finish?
And I understand. It’s the world we live in, and I suppose at some point I will have to “woman up”. Find a job, pay more bills. But I am still stuck, at 4 months away from turning 29, following “my dreams”. Going to start my Master’s Degree in less than a month. I will practically finish studying in my 30s. And yes, it does weight on me, when I think about it. But, I can’t care too much. I have a plan I must follow.
So, why do I feel like I haven’t “done well” in my 20s?
Time has flown
It has gone so fast, I feel like two days ago I was just turning 20. Literally, not more than 2 years ago. But it was almost a decade.
They say time flies when you have fun. But I’ll tell ya… when you don’t do much and look back, it’s like that time was never there at all.
I moved to Australia at 23, after my Bachelor’s in Italy. Then I felt petrified of doing anything in a new country, with a new language. So I went back.
2 minutes in Italy and I told myself: What have you done? Six months after I was back in Melbourne, and the rest is history. Here we are.
What happened in those 5 years you ask? Almost nothing, even though it was a lot.
I started learning English. I found the love of my life ( who is a better writer than me: yesnodunno and I am utterly jealous — yet utterly proud — about it). I worked for almost 1 year as a School Crossing Supervisor (also known as Lollipop Lady, my father was not proud). Did a better English course. Found a job at a Social Research call-centre (they paid pretty well, so my father was pretty happy). Started my Honours year of Psych, finally in Uni, finally in English.
Enrolled in the best uni in the country for my masters.
I swear… you look back and although it was your personal journey, you tell yourself: WTF have I done with my life?
Almost 30, jobless. More money in my bank account than the people I grew up with, but much less than the people here (in Australia). Not nearly as much as I should have in my retirement account. A father that although tells everyone back home that I will be a Master’s graduate, still asks me when am I going to finish with all this and finally get some cash.
I don’t even blame him
It’s my life. I am my own person. My partner supports me and knows I have better plans for the future. I navigated big changes in my life. I have battled for decades with mental health. And YES
EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TIMING
and I really believe that’s ok.
Even if you are almost 30, and did not do anything great in your roaring 20s.
Peace out peeps!